Sure Fire Ways to Turn a Woman Off in a Nightclub

It's Friday night and you've just put a long and arduous week to rest. It's boy's night, and you're ready to stir up a little trouble. On the evening's agenda, the city's hottest nightclub, catching a hefty buzz and scoping for top notches (hot ladies). I'm not sure if it's the result of group psychology, but when men get together and start slam the drinks, all common sense seems to vanish. Here are a few mistakes that most men make in the pursuit of the top notch.

1. Staring. A little is okay, but too long equals creepy. Believe it or not, gentlemen, we can actually feel you staring from behind. Get our attention, but don't scare us off. A simple glance will do. Don't make yourself look like a stalker.

2. No "drive-by" comments. If a woman and her female companions are cruising to the bathroom, do not shout at a woman or her friends as they're walking by. Oh, and standing in the pathway of a woman in a crowded room, just so she is forced to brush up against you is also a lame attempt at getting your jollies. Really, a simple smile and eye contact will do. If you must say something "hello" or "you're beautiful" will do. Keep it simple, not stupid.

3. Unnecessary roughness. Don't feel like you have the right to grab or pinch a woman as she's strolling by. FYI, there's always a designated "holder" for the evening. This is the girl designated to carry everyone's junk inside of one purse. She's the equivalent to the Special Ops soldiers. She's brought in to take you out. Don't ever do anything to tick her off. If you do, there's a good chance that you'll have a 50 pound bag full of MAC makeup cracking you in the face. Not great for the ego. Keep your hands to yourself, hell keep them in your pockets. Like Mom made you do when she took you into those really expensive nick-knack boutiques.

4. A cheesy pick-up line.I've been hearing this one a lot lately and I don't know where it came from. "We'd make beautiful babies together !" Gentlemen, I suggest that you ask for a name first, then talk procreation. More than likely, a woman will excuse herself to run to the bathroom, or to get a drink. In reality, she's running for the hills.

5. A little dab 'll do ya'. With sometimes hundreds of men and women dancing in a nightclub, the air tends to become hot and humid. We know that it's natural to sweat, but please, try to control yourself. Do not lean in to talk to a woman as your face is dripping with perspiration. It's disgusting and is a woman repelant. Go to the bar, find one of those stratigically placed napkin piles, and wipe yourself down.

In order to avoid sounding like a total femi-nazi, I have a few suggestions for the ladies. We too are guilty of pulling some really lame stunts to grab attention. For instance, watch your alcohol intake. Sloppy drunk is never attractive. Well, maybe attractive to that desperate guy that lingers around the club for 'left-overs". The sloppy chick is always the one crying at the end of the night, and walking around barefoot on a filthy club floor. Guys really don't want those nasty things in their car, let alone their bed.

I also suggest that you are cautious when wearing the ever popular mini-skirt or dress as well as plunging necklines. A little flash of skin is attractive, pulling a Britney is not. It's also uneccesary to bend over and grab your ankles in the middle of the dancefloor while wearing the previously mentioned articles of clothing. Yes, I have witnessed it on a few occassions, and it makes me want to cringe.

Class is still the most attractive quality that both men and women can posess. Guys, treat a lady like a lady, even if she isn't acting like it. We get it that you aren't necessarily heading out to the club to find your wife-to-be, but be wary of your actions. The woman that you disrespect in the club wants to have fun, too. More than likely, she also had a long week, and just wants to have fun with her friends. Have fun guys, but be a gentleman. It will get you much further than being the jerk.